Let's be honest, I'm far from perfect

My blog name is Perfectly pAsh for a reason. I'm not perfect, I'm far from it...but I'm perfect at being me.  This is the second edition of a similar blog, but I just couldn't resist given a text message I got today.  Enjoy.


I laugh too loud and way too hard, it's more of a hearty cackle. I have peed my pants while laughing and I'm not embarrassed by it. However, I avoid eye contact when embarrassed, which is often. One of my chesticles is bigger than the other and it drives me insane, yet is absolutely normal (currently taking donations to fix this.) I have slight OCD, it happens rarely but when it does...just let me finish what I am doing and don't bring it up again (yes, I know the glasses don't all have to face the same way.) I love to have someone compliment me, but I don't know how to accept it. When I drink my liquor on the rocks you're in for a treat, just put away any sharp objects and watch me closely. I make horrible decisions, but they are always for the right reason. I've been to jail, I begged to be left in general booking so I could watch the end of the IU game I was arrested at. Not even ashamed. One of my best friends is one of my exs, if you are his girlfriend, it's okay to hate me, I get it.  If you're a guy I'm dating, please never be jealous.  I've never met a mirror I didn't like, but what I see in it is another story.  I scream while watching my teams, my Dad refuses to watch the Colts or IU Basketball with me due to my intense volume and aggression.  I have tattoos, they each have a deeply personal meaning...if you get to see all three you are pretty special. I can turn any movie into a drinking game...and I will. My family is insane, either hop on the crazy train with us or keep your ass at the station. I wear sunglasses as often as possible, no I'm not a douchebag, I just don't want you to notice the "you-are-a-dumbass" look I'm giving you when you speak. In college, I began writing a cook-book, "420 Foods to Make While Stoned"  I never got very far with that one, but I still do research.  

I will do anything for my sisters, don't test this if you like your life the way it is. I rarely forget anyone I've ever met, I usually pretend I don't remember someone so I don't look like a loser for remembering everything about a 2 minute encounter we had 7 years ago. I am the most tender-hearted person I know, I cry for things like old people, road kill and Hallmark commercials, laugh at me and I'll pinch the shit out of your arm fat. I refer to my pets as kids and I treat them like that. You don't like it? I don't care. I've been attacked, I survived it and I'm stronger for it. Don't ask me questions about it, I'll give you details when I want to. 


I have a million other quirks that will drive anyone in my life insane and each one defines a small part of who I am. Today all this came to mind when I realized...some people really have a skewed version of who I am their head. I'm not that perfect girl you think I am. I'm just perfectly me.