whether right or wrong, makes us wanna stay...
Seven years ago at the ripe old age of 19, I fell in love for the first time. It was a time of fake Ids, Wednesdays at Chammps and Retro Rewind, stealing pumpkins and windshield wipers, staying up all night to sleep all day and dancing under the stars to Dave Matthews Band as if life and love lasted forever. Seven years later our romance is gone, my first heartbreak no longer aches and many other men have passed through my life without making such an impact.
Somewhere in the dating and relationship handbook that exists in society, it is stated, men and women cannot maintain a healthy relationship as friends, especially former lovers. False. I’ve always been one to have great friendships with men, my closest guy friends from high school are still the most important men in my life and at any point in time, I can call almost any of my ex boyfriends just to chat. And my first love, we just hung up the phone at 9 a.m. on a Friday morning; our relationship is better than it ever was when I thought I was in love.
He’s headed out of town this weekend to see someone special, and me being a girl, I wanted to make sure that he made her feel special. My advice? Flowers, not roses, not a store bought variety bouquet, but instead 3 or 5 (never an even number) of sunflowers or lilies tied with a single ribbon. I even sent him to my favorite florist downtown Indy (http://www.jpparkerco.com/), where I know they will make it fab. After discussing my romantic advice and well wishes for a safe trip, he asked me if I would look after his house and cats this weekend, and as the good friend I am, of course I said yes. He let me know he’d drop a key off to me this afternoon and briefly added “oh and just keep the key, someone needs to have a spare to my house and it should be you.” Accordingly so, as any good friend would, I gave him shit on the fact that after seven years I’m finally getting a key to his house. About damn time.
This guy, the one I once cried for days over is now the guy I call for relationship advice, the person I call when I’ve had a shitty day and just want a glass of wine and a good hug, He’s the person I tell my annoying jokes to and the test audience for my new recipes. He comes over on a whim to fix my computer, watch Thursday night comedy and enjoy a dinner party of just a few. Most importantly he’s one of my biggest supporters, he believes in me, listens to me and encourages me to go for what I want and to do it in a smart way. He listens to my relationship dramas and later even remembers to ask how the new guy is doing...I actually think he cares :)
Our friendship is by far a rarity in today’s society. It’s not for everyone, but I think everyone should give it a chance. What could be better than knowing that someone who has seen you at your best, worst, sexiest, most horrid, most intoxicated and most honest moments in life, is one of your biggest confidants? Some women have “their gays” the token queen that you can change in front of and discuss men with; not me, I just have “my formers” and it works perfectly for me.
So…seven years, countless other relationships, three cats, two hearts and one great friendship later… I’m getting a key to his house. Sometimes the worst relationship you ever have will turn into the greatest friendship you never expected.
“for a moment, this good time would never end…”dmb
Somewhere in the dating and relationship handbook that exists in society, it is stated, men and women cannot maintain a healthy relationship as friends, especially former lovers. False. I’ve always been one to have great friendships with men, my closest guy friends from high school are still the most important men in my life and at any point in time, I can call almost any of my ex boyfriends just to chat. And my first love, we just hung up the phone at 9 a.m. on a Friday morning; our relationship is better than it ever was when I thought I was in love.
He’s headed out of town this weekend to see someone special, and me being a girl, I wanted to make sure that he made her feel special. My advice? Flowers, not roses, not a store bought variety bouquet, but instead 3 or 5 (never an even number) of sunflowers or lilies tied with a single ribbon. I even sent him to my favorite florist downtown Indy (http://www.jpparkerco.com/), where I know they will make it fab. After discussing my romantic advice and well wishes for a safe trip, he asked me if I would look after his house and cats this weekend, and as the good friend I am, of course I said yes. He let me know he’d drop a key off to me this afternoon and briefly added “oh and just keep the key, someone needs to have a spare to my house and it should be you.” Accordingly so, as any good friend would, I gave him shit on the fact that after seven years I’m finally getting a key to his house. About damn time.
This guy, the one I once cried for days over is now the guy I call for relationship advice, the person I call when I’ve had a shitty day and just want a glass of wine and a good hug, He’s the person I tell my annoying jokes to and the test audience for my new recipes. He comes over on a whim to fix my computer, watch Thursday night comedy and enjoy a dinner party of just a few. Most importantly he’s one of my biggest supporters, he believes in me, listens to me and encourages me to go for what I want and to do it in a smart way. He listens to my relationship dramas and later even remembers to ask how the new guy is doing...I actually think he cares :)
Our friendship is by far a rarity in today’s society. It’s not for everyone, but I think everyone should give it a chance. What could be better than knowing that someone who has seen you at your best, worst, sexiest, most horrid, most intoxicated and most honest moments in life, is one of your biggest confidants? Some women have “their gays” the token queen that you can change in front of and discuss men with; not me, I just have “my formers” and it works perfectly for me.
So…seven years, countless other relationships, three cats, two hearts and one great friendship later… I’m getting a key to his house. Sometimes the worst relationship you ever have will turn into the greatest friendship you never expected.
“for a moment, this good time would never end…”dmb
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