Cliches and Expertise
Recently the cliches of dating/situations/relationships have been brought to my attention... some true, some false, some just absolutely absurd. After in-depth research with a sample population of 3 of my dear friends...here is our list of some of the biggest cliches in the dating world.
Once you go black you never go back. False, false, false. 50% of our participants have all jumped back and forth over that line a hand full of times. 25% has no information on the topic he's asleep and not willing to answer. 25% in our study is black so he get's a pass on this one. He can't go back.
Ugly guys have to try harder. Toss up on this one. I get it, at first they may have to dig down deep and find their personality...but lets be honest. Broke guys have it the hardest, even hot guys...if you're broke you ain't got no hope. If you're broke and ugly...shit....get 2 jobs, one working and one on your face then you can move right up the ladder to being hot and employed. All that said, every girl isn't a supermodel so every guy isn't expected to be a Ryan Gosling...but if you know Ryan Gosling could you send him my way? I've got a few things I'd like to...I digress. Personality wins. Handsome wins. Employment wins. You got one of those you got it on lock.
Wait 3 days to call her after the date. This isn't 1956, you don't have to drive to the corner to use the pay phone. Call her ass the second you think about doing it. Then tell her "you were on my mind, I know it's only been 3 hours... but baby you fly!" If you don't think about her for 2 or 3 days, it's cool, call her when you do. If it's been 4+ days and you haven't called or texted...just lose her number because most likely she's already deleted yours.
This leads me to my next point.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whoever in the hell said this was a big fat liar. You go absent on me, my heart goes rogue on you. End of story. I'm not talking about committed relationship states away. I'm talking straight up absence. Absence of communication, absence of physicality, absence logistically, absence of conversation...just absence as an equally contributing partner in the relationship.
Lets be friends. Yea, cool, let's do that and then while we're at it, lets play a game of go play in traffic. This never works...at the beginning. I can tell you though, the guys that meant the most to me in my dating life are still some of my best friends. Tonight I'm writing this on one of their couches using his laptop... just after I helped put together his furniture and cook him dinner...wait a minute...I think he's getting the better end of this deal.
You can't turn a ho into a housewife. You just can't. You got any questions on that ask my boy, Fresh Face, he's the aficionado on this topic. I'm neither a ho nor a housewife but I have seen my fair share of both and never are they one in the same. This cliche my friends, is in fact truth.
So there it is... our list of the top relationship cliches. As always, these are my opinions, I'm always right and I'm a self proclaimed expert in the field of dating, love, sarcasm and bullshit.
Once you go black you never go back. False, false, false. 50% of our participants have all jumped back and forth over that line a hand full of times. 25% has no information on the topic he's asleep and not willing to answer. 25% in our study is black so he get's a pass on this one. He can't go back.
Ugly guys have to try harder. Toss up on this one. I get it, at first they may have to dig down deep and find their personality...but lets be honest. Broke guys have it the hardest, even hot guys...if you're broke you ain't got no hope. If you're broke and ugly...shit....get 2 jobs, one working and one on your face then you can move right up the ladder to being hot and employed. All that said, every girl isn't a supermodel so every guy isn't expected to be a Ryan Gosling...but if you know Ryan Gosling could you send him my way? I've got a few things I'd like to...I digress. Personality wins. Handsome wins. Employment wins. You got one of those you got it on lock.
Wait 3 days to call her after the date. This isn't 1956, you don't have to drive to the corner to use the pay phone. Call her ass the second you think about doing it. Then tell her "you were on my mind, I know it's only been 3 hours... but baby you fly!" If you don't think about her for 2 or 3 days, it's cool, call her when you do. If it's been 4+ days and you haven't called or texted...just lose her number because most likely she's already deleted yours.
This leads me to my next point.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whoever in the hell said this was a big fat liar. You go absent on me, my heart goes rogue on you. End of story. I'm not talking about committed relationship states away. I'm talking straight up absence. Absence of communication, absence of physicality, absence logistically, absence of conversation...just absence as an equally contributing partner in the relationship.
Lets be friends. Yea, cool, let's do that and then while we're at it, lets play a game of go play in traffic. This never works...at the beginning. I can tell you though, the guys that meant the most to me in my dating life are still some of my best friends. Tonight I'm writing this on one of their couches using his laptop... just after I helped put together his furniture and cook him dinner...wait a minute...I think he's getting the better end of this deal.
You can't turn a ho into a housewife. You just can't. You got any questions on that ask my boy, Fresh Face, he's the aficionado on this topic. I'm neither a ho nor a housewife but I have seen my fair share of both and never are they one in the same. This cliche my friends, is in fact truth.
So there it is... our list of the top relationship cliches. As always, these are my opinions, I'm always right and I'm a self proclaimed expert in the field of dating, love, sarcasm and bullshit.
I know it's been a while since I've suggested a good jam...so here it is... my song of the summer.
"You can walk those high heels baby right outta my life."
Mayer Hawthorne - The Walk
Spot. On... Witcha Win U Ryte lol Always remember to take care of number 1, because if you don't then nobody else is guaranteed to do it for you.
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