And sisters we shall be...

I was raised in a family where loyalty precedes everything else.  My sisters are the two most important people in my world and today I was reminded of just how much my world revolves around them. Twenty years ago this November, my dad and step-mom got married... but in our family we refer to it as "WE got married."  The three of us girls were raised as a family unit, a team, it's us against the world, even if the world was sometimes only our parents. We often fought as children, like kids do.  We had WWF fights using my bed as a ring, called each other names and tattle tailed with the ultimate goal of watching each other cry. All of our name-calling, late nights watching Congo, body-slams and home Christmas pageants with Dad watching in his britches made us the disfunctional team we are today. 

A few years ago, a guy friend jokingly called me a whore, my sister climbed over the table in the bar and attempted to swing on him not realizing he was just kidding. I can call my sister a bastard as much as I want, but if you want to say it...think again. No one messes with my best friends.  As sisters, we are a unit, it doesn't matter whether we're blood related or not. We are each others biggest supporters and toughest critics. I can't imagine a day without my sisters in my life but breifly today, that thought crossed my mind.  

A shooting occurred in College Station, Texas, on the campus of A&M University where my sister Sarah is a senior.  I don't know any details of the shooting aside from the fact hearing about it was the worst news I could ever imagine. The thoughts of "when was the last time I talked to Sarah" and "will I ever talk to her again" were the first things that flashed through my mind.  I fumbled for my phone, dialed her number and it rang 4 times. Finally, she picked up and the only words she said were " I'm alright. " Hearing those words I exhaled and began to sob, I hadn't even realized I'd been holding my breath while the phone rang.  To imagine for those brief seconds that I would never hear my sister's voice again was the scariest and most terrifying thought I've ever had.

Last year for a brief period of time my family thought something horrible had happened my other sister, Courtney.  Sitting by the phone for two hours was tumultuous.  Never would I wish upon any sister, brother or parent that empty feeling I had while wondering if she was okay.  I'm a person who is quick to assume the worst but always prays for the best.  In both of these instances with my sisters my heart rapidly beat, my eyes filled with tears, and my head was a foggy mess.

I believe it's the curse of the first child, we're the first to worry, the first to defend and the first to pick on our siblings.   Sisters are our first friends, out first enemies, the first person we tell our secrets to and the first people we never want to disappoint.  If my sisters don't like you, you won't have a long stay in my life.  Their opinions matter to me more than anyone else's and I hope I matter just as much to them.

So today when I heard about the shooting at Texas A&M I briefly imagined how my life would change.  I can't even begin to explain the emptiness in my heart and how quickly the tears came to my face when this thought entered my brain.  I hope this post reaches someone out there.  I hope if you're fighting with your sister or brother... you call them, go see them, tell them how much you love them. Today I imagined I would never again have the opportunity to talk to my baby sister and it is by far the worst feeling I have ever felt. 

So to you my little gorillas... I love you more than Amy loves martinis, Carla loves Daniel, Dad hates roadtrips and most importantly, more than you will ever know.

Olive juice sissers, olive juice.



Disney 1999...a trio of hip individuals on the best family vacation ever.