The purpose for being Perfectly PAsh
In the past year that I have been writing my blog I have discussed many different topics, I dabbled in this, touched on that and praised a few. However, I have had one topic that seems to reappear over and over again: Men and their effects on my life. I discuss my dating habits, my past relationships, my wants for the future and my outlooks on this evasive species. When I begin writing it's often based upon how I feel towards my subject and how my subject has changed me, whether for the good or the bad. I know that all the men that have been in my life over the years have affected me in many ways and for that I am grateful.
I am a single woman in my late 20s and I can shamefully admit, I've only been in one serious relationship in my entire life. This relationship, as I have previously discussed in numerous blogs was an eventful and hurtful time in my life. I took that experience and I grew from it. I hold no resentment, I am no longer wanting to slit his tires nor bust out his windows. However, he is just one person that has helped me develop into the present form of "me." In the past 10 years I have been on what feels like hundreds of first dates, met guys from all different walks of life and developed friendships with men I never thought I would. I've had "relationships" that were just a few dates, some were months of seeing each other and a few others were strung out tumultuous non-serious relationships that were on and off for a period of God knows how long. Over these years I've realized a lot about myself and I feel I have these people to thank for that. So if you are reading this and you are one of these blessed souls that put up with my shenanigans, THANK YOU!
Having said this, I realized tonight that of all I've learned about myself, I hope that I have done the same for these guys in a similar way. I hope that at some point in time, someone from my past looks back at the time we spent together and realizes that I helped him grow and prosper. I want to feel that I wasn't the only person learning to live and love but instead we both did. I'd like to think that along my path to self discovery, an unintentional non-selfish act occurred; that I, the queen of self loathing, actually played a positive role in someone else's life development. The conversations we had, the moments we shared, the places we went and the emotions we experienced together have somehow helped to mold the future we won't have together. I say this because I want someone out there to look back on the time they spent with me and say "that girl made me learn something about myself." It could be something good, something bad or something obscure, just as long as it's something; something I did for someone else.
Tonight this thought came to me after a chat with a guy friend who has listened to my woes over the past few years. We've experienced so much together and we continue to learn from not only our own relationships, but from each other's as well. I know that I've helped him learn something about himself, and in return I've learned so many things about myself from his perspective.
Undoubtedly, this is selfish and based upon my own wants and desires and this isn't some righteous post. This is just me hoping that maybe along my path of self discovery I've done for someone what so many others have done for me... helped me become me.
I am a single woman in my late 20s and I can shamefully admit, I've only been in one serious relationship in my entire life. This relationship, as I have previously discussed in numerous blogs was an eventful and hurtful time in my life. I took that experience and I grew from it. I hold no resentment, I am no longer wanting to slit his tires nor bust out his windows. However, he is just one person that has helped me develop into the present form of "me." In the past 10 years I have been on what feels like hundreds of first dates, met guys from all different walks of life and developed friendships with men I never thought I would. I've had "relationships" that were just a few dates, some were months of seeing each other and a few others were strung out tumultuous non-serious relationships that were on and off for a period of God knows how long. Over these years I've realized a lot about myself and I feel I have these people to thank for that. So if you are reading this and you are one of these blessed souls that put up with my shenanigans, THANK YOU!
Having said this, I realized tonight that of all I've learned about myself, I hope that I have done the same for these guys in a similar way. I hope that at some point in time, someone from my past looks back at the time we spent together and realizes that I helped him grow and prosper. I want to feel that I wasn't the only person learning to live and love but instead we both did. I'd like to think that along my path to self discovery, an unintentional non-selfish act occurred; that I, the queen of self loathing, actually played a positive role in someone else's life development. The conversations we had, the moments we shared, the places we went and the emotions we experienced together have somehow helped to mold the future we won't have together. I say this because I want someone out there to look back on the time they spent with me and say "that girl made me learn something about myself." It could be something good, something bad or something obscure, just as long as it's something; something I did for someone else.
Tonight this thought came to me after a chat with a guy friend who has listened to my woes over the past few years. We've experienced so much together and we continue to learn from not only our own relationships, but from each other's as well. I know that I've helped him learn something about himself, and in return I've learned so many things about myself from his perspective.
Undoubtedly, this is selfish and based upon my own wants and desires and this isn't some righteous post. This is just me hoping that maybe along my path of self discovery I've done for someone what so many others have done for me... helped me become me.
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