Slasher movie and a heartbreak, nice little Sunday

Here I sit, this Sunday before Valentines Day, watching my favorite scary movie of all time, The Strangers and feeling a euphoric high.  My high is not due to watching the creepiest movie ever, but instead from the satisfaction of the past few hours of my day.

I don't believe you can truly live your life without experiencing a heart break or two, and this I have lived through.  I've had a broken heart that I honestly thought would never mend, I thought I would never be able to look that same man in the face without wanting to rip his heart out through his mouth.  Yet, I realize today that my heart is finally no longer broken and I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was.

My heartbreaker dropped by the house today to check on me, since I have been so ill and to see his "daughter" LaLa.  I have never seen a dog love someone so much as she loves him, she barked herself so silly that she has been passed out since the moment he left.  Today, him being here was an amazing step in our relationship as friends.  We talked about my dating life, his girlfriend, where we are both headed in life and enjoyed each others company.  We hung out and watched some NBA as actual adults without one of us fighting or crying.  This was the best feeling I've had in a long time when he left, a feeling of security in who I am, who he is now and how we have both progressed in our lives to the point we can call each other friend.

Have I written him off entirely? No.  Do I still miss things about him? Of course.  But who doesn't think about important people from their past from time to time?  Although this man hurt me as no one else ever had before, I've realized I'm okay, and I'm a much stronger person for it.  So instead of remembering the worst Valentines Day of my life that we went through years ago, I smile today realizing without having the worst I'd never be able to someday have the best.

XoXo - pash

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